When Words Are Not Enough – About Farewell, Grief and New Light

When my beloved cat Marta passed away after twelve years together, I couldn’t find the right words for what I felt. There was a silence everywhere, and at the same time a pain that overshadowed everything. In such moments, our own words often aren’t enough – and that’s why I held on to the lines of W. H. Auden, which describe this state so accurately:

“Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,
Silence the pianos and with muffled drum
Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come. [...]

The stars are not wanted now; put out every one,
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun,
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood;
For nothing now can ever come to any good.”

These few lines capture something familiar to everyone who has ever lost an animal: the world stands still while reality simply moves on.

Grief is inevitable – and necessary. When we lose an animal, we lose much more than “just” a pet. We lose a daily companion, a familiar face, a being that loved us quietly and gave us support in our everyday life. Grief is not a mistake, not a sign of weakness. It shows that love was there. And it needs time, space, and compassion.

Eventually comes the moment when we ask ourselves: How do we go on? The pain remains — sometimes softer, sometimes stronger — but we must not let it become a wall around our heart. Because love, even when it ends, leaves behind an empty yet precious space. And this very space can, after a while, become something wonderful.

The most beautiful way to honor a lost love: Giving a new animal a home does not mean replacing Marta. It does not mean forgetting the pain. And it is not a betrayal. It means passing on what Marta gave us. Because so many cats live in cages, move from one foster home to another, never have stability, are exposed to constant stress, and have no place where they are allowed to truly arrive. They are waiting for what we have lost: a family, a home, a heart.

Why adoption after a loss is a double act of love: When we make room for an animal again after saying goodbye, we honor the memory of the cat who accompanied us, we save a life in urgent need of a home, and we turn what hurts into something that heals. There is no purer way to continue love.